Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
