As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
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