Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
