I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
