im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
