when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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