how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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