she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
