I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
