Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
