The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
