Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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