Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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