My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
