yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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