i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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