i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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