She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
