HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Do you have feelings for this penis?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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