Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
