Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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