Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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