if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
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