We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
