He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Randomize
