OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
