You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
