so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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