office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Randomize
