I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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