think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
