you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
