But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Is Oprah even human
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