just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I came so hard my ears popped.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
