I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
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