Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
