I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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