Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
