I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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