I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
