I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
