Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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