Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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