I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
