Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
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