you guys were way drunker than both of me
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
only you would photoshop your dick
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
