oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
