yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Come on in and take your pants off
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