Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
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