Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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