My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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